Wish You Were Here
by Symphony In Blue
Summary: One-shot, post series 3. Zoë has been exiled to Chile, and thinks back about her old life. How does she cope with her new life and her new identity? First time writing for Spooks. Un-beta'd


**Disclaimer:** I don't own Spooks or any of the characters. They belong to the BBC and Kudos

**Author's note: **I normally never write for Spooks, but I was so upset by Zoë's departure that I just had to write something about it. She was my favourite character.

* * *

_Wish You Were Here_

_By  
PhilippaRM  
_

It was a quiet, slightly overcast Monday morning. The beach was deserted, apart from one lonely figure, sitting in the sand, looking out over the ocean. The woman was tall, with short blonde hair. Around here, people knew her as Gina Hamilton. She had been in Chile for 5 months now, but she still wasn't used to people calling her by that name. She wondered if she'd ever get used to it. She had taken on different identities before, but those had always been temporary; going to the Turkish embassy, pretending to be someone's girlfriend for the day. Or posing as an English teacher for a couple of days. It was fun, it was exciting. But at the end of the day, she could always go home and be herself again; Zoë Reynolds. Only not this time. This time, the fake identity was for life. Zoë could still hardly believe how everything had turned ugly so quickly.

It had all started with Harry and Adam forcing her to do a job she didn't want to do in the first place. And from that moment on it had all gone horribly wrong, with the undercover police officer being shot dead, and her trial that followed shortly afterwards. Throughout, Harry had reassured her that she would come to no harm, that this whole trial was only meant tell MI-5 off as if it were a naughty school child. She would get off with a warning, nothing more. Only he was wrong, and when she heard her sentence being spoken, she felt as though the very foundations of her life and everything she believed in, were collapsing around her; 10 years.

Everyone had been beside themselves with anger, except for Zoë. Prison sounded awful, however, she did feel partially responsible for the death of that police officer, and she felt she had to pay the price for her actions. She had given it a lot of thinking, and she'd had her mind set to serving her sentence. But Harry, determined not to let one of his best officers go down, had come up with another solution. How he had managed to get this done, she still didn't know. He had come to her, offering her a fresh start. A passport from the Republic of Chile, in the name of Gina Hamilton, with her picture on it. She had refused it immediately. She couldn't bear the thought of going into exile, leaving her country and her loved ones behind. By this time she was so consumed with guilt, that she actually felt she had to go to prison, in order to feel whole again. She had appreciated Harry's gesture, but couldn't take him up on his offer. But then he had send Danny in. Danny was more than a colleague, more than a flatmate, or just an ordinary friend. He was her best friend, her soul mate even. Harry had send him in to try and persuade her. At that point, she had still been determined to say no, but Danny knew her too well, and knew exactly what her weak spots were. He had talked to her about throwing away her best years in prison. That no matter how frequent people would come to visit her, the spaces between those visits would still seem like an eternity. He had spoken to her about her desire for a child. It was true, she really wanted to have a child one day. And she wouldn't be able to if she spend the next 10 years in prison. He really knew her too well. So in the end she gave in. He handed her the passport, and she took it, her hands shaking violently as she did. Their final farewell had been heartbreaking. Danny had tried to lighten the mood a bit. "Someday, when this is all over, we'll see each other again. We'll sit by the ocean, and laugh about it all," was what he had said. She had then hugged him for the very last time. "I'll never see you again," she had said, unsuccessfully fighting back more tears. After that she had walked out the door without looking back.

Her first month in exile had been dreadful. Zoë had never felt worse in all her life. Here she was, in a strange country, where she knew no-one, and she wasn't allowed to contact anyone back home. 28 years old, and it felt as though her life was already over. Her solitude came to an abrupt end when Will turned up on her doorstep. It was a huge shock, as she had never expected to see him again. As it turned out, Danny had broken his silence, and had told Will where she really was. She knew Danny had never really cared for Will, but he loved her; she knew that for a fact. He had risked his own job, his life, to grant her some happiness. And she would be eternally grateful for that. Will made her exile bearable. At least now she was with someone who knew who she truly was, and more importantly, someone she loved, and who loved her back. Who loved her enough to abandon his own life and to move halfway across the world to be with her. It had given her life meaning again. It still wouldn't be easy, but now at least she could try and build a new life, a new future for herself.

And she was getting used to her new lifestyle, bit by bit. Chile wasn't an unpleasant country to live in. It was a beautiful country, the weather nice, and the people friendly. But there was one aspect of her old life that she wasn't able to shake off; Danny. She still missed him, so much. And she wondered, if that nagging feeling in the pit of her stomach would ever fade away.

She was clutching a piece of paper in her fist. It was a telegram she had received this morning. It was irretraceable, so it wasn't difficult to figure out where it had come from. It only contained a short and to-the-point message;

_I'm sorry to tell you that Danny's dead. He died in the field and will be much missed. Just felt you should know that. H_

At that moment, it felt as though a part of Zoë had died as well. She couldn't believe the message she had just read, didn't want to believe it. But it was true. Her last words to him had come true; she would never see him again. "We'll sit by the ocean, and laugh about it all," that's what he had said. Those words had kept her going when she had first arrived in Chile. Even though it wasn't much, and it probably would never happen, it was a promise for the future, and Zoë had hung on to that thought in order to survive. But now she knew that it really was never going to happen. The hope was gone, and she was left with a big gaping hole in her heart.

She sighed. It was over. The last link to her old life had died away, literally. She had nothing of her old life to hang on to anymore, except for Will of course. But he was part of her new life as well. She just hoped she would never be separated from him. She couldn't deal with another loss. But those were problems and fears to deal with later on. For now she would just sit here, and remember Danny. Her best friend…always.


End file.
